Wednesday, May 04, 2005

So, a Toledo woman saw Jesus in her ultrasound picture...not fucking kidding, folks... They've supposedly got a video clip up, but it doesn't play at all on my Mac because my Mac is apparently programmed not to play utter and complete BULLSHIT.

There's the ultrasound. See Jesus? Maybe you just aren't believing hard enough...

See? They circled it! It's Jesus! And he's TALKING TO A BABY!!!

Personally, I think it looks like Zaphod Beeblebrox with the baby that Michael Jackson dangled from that hotel window. See, I believe in Zaphod. Because he's like, real and stuff. He has a movie that wasn't made by a crazy person who believes his wife is going to hell.

WAIT A MINUTE, HERE!!! That baby...has a duck bill! It's not a baby! It's Howard the Duck! Since the beginning of time, the coming of Howard has been fortold! Someone call George Lucas and see if he gives a shit.

But wait! There's more! You can BUY THE JESUS ULTRASOUND T-SHIRT!!! Because it's a miracle, folks! Not a crass attempt to cash in on random nosie or a bit of undigested lettuce! Noooooooo! It's JESUS, YOU HEATHEN BASTARDS!!! HE WANTS YOU TO BUY THE T-SHIRT!!!

The miracle baby...but there's no duck bill! I was promised a fucking duck bill! I WANT MY T-SHIRT MONEY BACK!!!

As if that's not enough, Evangelical Christians have taken over the Air Force Academy and are pressuring cadets there to convert. Classy.

Can Wal-Mart pay more? Of course not. Without retail slavery, they'd never succeed!

Marijuana is now a chief focus of the War on Drugs. Which means the underpaid Wal-Mart workers have one less outlet for their frustrations.

Records show lobbyist Jack Abramoff paid for travel for members of Congress (including his buddy Tom DeLay and some of DeLay's staff -- and two Democrats, James E Clyburn [SC] and Bennie Thompson [Miss]). No, DeLay didn't violate House ethics rules...oh, wait...he DID...

A great interveiw with one of America's leading experts on spyware. What he has to say about some legitimate businesses might surprise you. But if you've been paying attention to pop up ads at might not.

The spyware industry is worth billions in ad revenues. I blame my friend DDP. His computer is ALWAYS infected with the stuff.

Racist loudmouth and ex-major leaguer John Rocker just can't catch a break, can he?

Pat O'Brien says he didn't run to rehab to hide from stories about his obscene phone calls. Know what I say? YOU ARE SOOOOOO FULL OF IT!
Haven't heard the messages yet? Where have you been hiding? Get 'em here...and remember...YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO HOTT!!!

Gee. The Army tried to hide the fact that Pat Tillman and his unit were killed by friendly fire. Go figure...

Hong Kong Boy Scouts can now get a merit badge in...Copyright Law.

Downloadable content seems to be the way the electronic gaming industry is looking for new revenue (I still suggest making games that don't suck)

Sony's looking for a live-action equivalent to their Everquest queen, Antonia Bayle. Fanboys have their computer mouse and zipper at the ready for her unveiling...

New Movie Trailers
The Legend of Zorro trailer 1
The Devil's Rejects trailer 3
The Man trailer

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