Saturday, December 06, 2003


Nothing beats the insipid dullness of sitting in on a blustery Saturday in the Northeast than the warming glow of the Bravo Network on God's gift to this green earth (no slight to Ralph Nader intended): TEE VEE.

Stemming from the many varying programs that have debuted on non-network affiliated stations in the past few years (a substantial result of the "reality television" boom) are a host of sister channel rivalries designed to contend (and identify) with the Survivor demographic. One of these programs, unbelievably in these cynical times, has aspirations beyond creating sheer pleasure derived from watching human beings make assholes out of themselves for money. (No slight against Julia Roberts is intended.) Am I sounding like the Architect from The Matrix Reloaded yet? I just bought a new thesaurus.

Kudos goes to Bravo for their interesting take on the reality-show genre. Celebrity Poker pits celebrites of various rank against one another in whirlwind No-Limit Texas Hold'em poker. The object is to win through a series of rounds culminating in a playoff for a $250,000.00 pot. The celebrities get to keep a portion of the winnings for themselves, but a predetermined amount (assumedly chosen by the network) goes to the lucky celebrity's charity of choice.

I like this concept. It matches my macho lust for high-stakes cards with the sweeter center of me that identifies with Jimmy Fund commercials that run in front of movies played at my favorite cinema - usally ten commercials down from the super-fun quizes that play pre-show, and six, four minute trailers away from the start of the fucking feature presentation.

So how does this tie in to the title of my post? Ben Affleck was suckered to go all in on a $28,000.00 pot and lost.

Fuck Ben Affleck. Fuck him up his stupid ass. (No slight to Matt Damon intended.)

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