HEADSET JOCKEYS

From rexcase, the anonymous troll in the Dead Patrol review comments.
Interesting take on clothing stores a la The Office. Not funny. At all.
In fact, that's pretty much all I have to say about it. Not funny.

DEAD PATROL episode 1 review (ammended with 100% less slag!)

via the Zombie Reporting Center:
Episode 1: "Trapped"

Zombies are great fodder for genre storytelling. After all, it's end of the world stuff.
However, Dead Patrol isn't great storytelling. It's not even good storytelling.
Sure, they managed to get a Skinny Puppy song for their main titles. Sure, they stole the design for those main titles from The 4400. It looks and feels pretty professional.
Everything else pretty much sucks.
The logic of the premise is extremely weak to begin with. After the zombie apocalypse, the Army begins nuking cities. Well, let's look at that. In zombie lore, they dead go to where the food is. If the cities are no longer inhabited and there was no food available, they wouldn't still be in the cities. Oops.
Second problem? They send a two man team in. One's a young guy. The other's a 40s-ish housewife-looking bird with an eyebrow piercing. The military would never allow eyebrow piercings. Sorry. That'd be a spectacularly bad idea in a zombie apocalypse as well. Ever seen someone with a piercing in a fight? That piercing almost always ends up being ripped out. And eyebrow piercings bleed a LOT.
Thinking in the logic of the zombie genre, that's a tremendously risky thing to have. Either the zombie rips it out and you get infected via the blood, or the zombie rips it out and you get blood in your eye, blinding you at a crucial moment.
Two soldiers against an entire city full of the undead? Um...The military isn't stupid. Not gonna happen. The military can't tie a pair of shoes without at least twelve soldiers. Zombies would rate a few more, I think.
The two soldiers steal a Lamborghini to make their getaway. Problem #1 - they crash out of the garage (through a plate glass window, which mysteriously has no frame). That would have seriously damaged the car. Problem #2 - they stop for an old lady zombie (I think it was an attempt at humor, but, well...just not funny). Besides, the CGI for the car was just fucking terrible. Save the money and buy a used Rabbit or something.
Well...where was the vehicle they brought the warhead in on? They show a trailer. But no vehicle to tow it. Why not just drive that out?
Better yet...if you're going to nuke a city...just send a missile. Then your "two man team" doesn't have to face the living dead at all...that is until they find the missile silo.
I haven't even mentioned the uneven and mostly hilariously bad zombie effects. The less said about them the better, actually.
I've since been contacted by two of the people involved in the making of this web series (see one of them spewing stupidity in the comments) who attempted to explain the shortcomings. Apparently, there WAS a truck and there WERE more troops. But somehow these two got left behind (they could have mentioned this...a line of dialogue would have explained it). And there's a backstory to the eyebrow piercing...which while still totally a bad idea will apparently be explained in future episodes. The only explanation for why missiles weren't sent instead of soldiers? No drama.
Yes, that's exactly how the military operates. Based on drama. Yeesh.
Out of consideration for Jas, I will give the second episode a chance (It's apparently gonna be ready before the month is over...which is QUICK turnaround for a web show...I be impressed). I hope to bring you better tidings when it drops.