Thursday, February 01, 2007

Aqua Terror Hunger Force!

So, in case you've been hiding in a cave, I have some bad news.
America was confronted with that darn terrorism again. This time, the terrorists were a couple of stoner guys who worked for a viral marketing company.

They sure look scary, don't they? All that smiling. Scary, I tells ya!
These two masters of evil were putting up little LED signs that look like Mooninites from Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force. If you aren't aware of what that is, please kill yourself now. We don't like you any more.
Said "packages" sparked a terror alert that apparently crippled the city of Boston. Because...they were battery powered.
Oh my God! Batteries! That remote controlled car is a TERRORIST WEAPON! So's that clock radio! So's your mom's dildo!
Yup. All of 'em are weapons of terror. So are those yellow blinking road signals they put on top of the orange barrels. They have batteries, too! Call Homeland Security!

Really. Does that look like a terrorist device? It looks "sinister" because it had a battery and wires? What the fuck? Come on, now. Think this through. It's a LIGHT-UP SIGN. It's too thin to be a bomb. Duh. Are people THAT dumb???
Of course, the Mooninite signs are probably going to become the hottest selling item on eBay this month. Rightfully so, as they are super-sweet and I want one. But the fact that the city of Boston went on some kind of tear running around the city "disarming" these dangerous signs just makes me laugh. After the first one, you'd figure they noticed they weren't explosive devices.
As to it being a bomb hoax...that would mean they intended them to be seen as bombs. What a load of horse shit.
What a bunch of dummies.

Two plead not guilty to Boston hoax charges
Stoners, Media Conglomerate Responsible for Boston Bomb Hoax
America's New Enemy Has Dreads, Watches Cartoons
Suspicious packages part of Turner Broadcasting marketing campaign
Artists perform at post-arraignment press conference
Two Suspects Arraigned After Turner Marketing Campaign Sparks Terrorism Scare
Boston Mooninite Fetching $5k on eBay
Promotional Gadgets Grip Boston in Fear and Loathing
Arrest Made After 'Suspicious Packages' Paralyzed Boston as Part of Cartoon Network Marketing Campaign
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the Bomb T-Shirts

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