Saturday, July 30, 2005

Rant in B flat
Every single day, when you wake up, you're faced with a choice. Right at that moment, your entire day is decided.
You can have a great day. Or, you can have a shitty day. Your choice.
Pretty much nothing can change that. And it's YOUR CHOICE.
If you let someone else ruin your day...you've given that person power over you, and consequently made yourself powerless. Is that the way you want to live your life?
Really. Your choice.
Realizing that it's within your damn ability to have a great day every fucking day of your life is one of those steps toward enlightenment that very few people have the sack to make. Which explains why so fucking many people are unhappy out there.
You wanna bitch about the overmedication of America? People need the medication. Because they're unhappy. All the time.
Hell, if I had to live like that, I'd off myself. Seriously. If you're in agony every day of your life because it's impossible for you to achieve happiness...you're better off. Kill yourself now. Why? So WE will be out of your misery.
Sit down and think about it. What makes you happy?
There's something. There always is. Sometimes it's the misery of others. It's petty. And it's jealous. But if it makes you happy, fucking work with it. Study Don Rickles. Figure out how to make yourself happy more often.
There. You've got a reason to live, right there.
Chances are, there's SOMETHING that makes you happy. Statistically speaking, it's impossible that you're completely miserable. Consequently, there's no fucking excuse for you to be unhappy all the damn time. Which means there's no reason for anyone to commit suicide, other than to ease their suffering and accelerate their departure from this mortal plane when they're terminally ill.

Yeah, that's right. I support peoples' right to die with dignity. I've watched two parents get sick and die -- and it took YEARS for them to finally expire. In both cases there was a long period where treatment worked, and there was some kind of hope that they'd recover. Could you watch a loved one suffer? Would you INSIST that they be kept alive and fed with a goddamn tube?
Would YOU have kept Terri Schiavo alive as a vegetable for ten years? Twenty? At what point do you finally fucking realize that keeping someone alive artificially is vanity (YOUR vanity) and let them go?

The Christian Right pisses me off. Why? Because they're the biggest sinners on the fucking planet, by their own definition, and they STILL insist on judging others. And controlling others. Doesn't the bible say something about "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" etc etc? Yet, these are the fuckers who are moralizing us back into the stone age.
Let's take Sundays, just for an instance. It's the "Lord's Day". Consequently, you can't go into most stores, shopping malls, etc after SIX O'CLOCK on a Sunday.
What. Fucking. Gives?
Seriously???
If it's the Lord's Day...and you're supposed to be in church and all that nonsense...OPEN THE BUSINESS AT NOON. Then, close at your normal time like a civilized human being. The rest of us can call Sunday "Hangover Day" and learn to appreciate your Sunday Blue Laws. We wouldn't be pissing and moaning because we can't get a fucking print cartridge for our computer at eight o'clock at night on a Sunday any more. No, instead, we'll be sleeping off the bender from the night before that we went on because you fucking Jesus freaks are trying to ruin something else that we enjoy. Like Television.

TV. It's great. Occasionally, it's informative.
Shit, most of the people I know -- whether or not they have kids -- spend at least half of their television viewing time watching CNN or the Discovery Channel or the Learning Channel or CSPAN (which I find unwatchable because I keep screaming obscenities at the Senate...but that's just me) or something actually educational.
But, dammit...TV is totally unrealistic.
Why? Because fucking right wingers complain. About everything.
It wasn't until the late 1960s that we had an "interracial" kiss on TV. Why? Because Right Wingers didn't approve of Negroes and Whites being together.
Guess what, motherfuckers...there's one race. It's called the HUMAN race. Your hang-up on skin color is pretty fucking ridiculous, since it's caused by the amount of exposure you have to the sun. If Sweden were the Veldt, Swedes would be black as night. Get over yourselves. Really. All the hatred that racists have isn't healthy.
Funny, of course, that most of the people in hate groups in the US are Right Wing Christians, isn't it?
Let's look at things from a historical perspective.
Jesus was kind of a cool guy, even if only twenty percent of the statements in the bible attributed to him were actually his own words. Jesus believed in love and forgiveness. I wish I had more love in my heart. I wish I could be more forgiving.
Now, Christian moralist fucks believe in hate and judgemental jackoffery.
They believe that if a person wants to fuck another person in a very uncomfortable place (not that much unlike the back of a Volkswagen) that they're an abomination and shouldn't be allowed basic human rights -- like the right to marry the human being of their choice.
They also believe that they know better than EVERYONE ELSE ON THE FUCKING PLANET what's good for them. So, a group like Focus on Family, which claims over a million members and actually has less than a hundred, can control what the other two hundred million other Americans get to watch on TV.
Even if they really had a million members (they don't)...that still doesn't give them the right to dictate shit. They'd be roughly about one third of one percent of the total population.
In other words, they need to shut the fuck up. Yesterday.
Why can't we have full penetration sex on TV? What's so scary about that? Kids might see it, you say? Good. They might learn that sex is a HEALTHY thing, and a normal part of life. It might not have the cache of that forbidden fruit they always wanna eat.
They might learn something. Maybe how to please a partner (though given how TV/movie love scenes are shot...and porno's unrealistic acrobatics...probably not). Maybe they'll learn some responsibility. Or to use a fucking condom. Yeah, that's right, Mr Pope, I'm advocating birth control. Why? BECAUSE IT'S RESPONSIBLE. You want the world overpopulated? You want rampant plague and illness that would make the biblical plagues pale in comparison? Overpopulate, you dumbass. You'll get your fucking wish.
Sex on TV wouldn't be the end of the world. Archie Bunker flushing his toilet didn't destroy America. It wouldn't kill us if Edith went down on him once in a while, either. I'm not saying I want 24/7 ugly people having sex on TV. Let's just be realistic. People fuck.
The fact that we're here is proof of that, unless you all are a bunch of government-grown clones. People get it on, just like Marvin Gaye and Barry White and Mills Lane intended.
What's wrong with being honest about that? What's immoral about it?
See, the funny thing is...if you read the Book of Genesis and actually read what it says, nothing's wrong with it.
The forbidden fruit was from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Everything they were doing before was perfectly fine.
But once they learned morality, Adam and Eve ceased to be perfect.
Hmmm...
The BIBLE says morality's bad. Right back to the rhetorical first stone.
Why is it that the worst sinners have all the rocks again? Oh, that's right. They say the same fucking book tells them too. Of course, it also says not to eat pork and that it's okay to beat your wife with a rod as long as it's not thicker than your thumb.
What's wrong with some bouncing girl parts on the boob tube? Why not show some dangly (or turgid) boy parts for the ladies out there? Oprah can have a show a month on how to blow a guy properly. I'm sure Steadman would appreciate that.
Would everyone still love Raymond if they watched him schtup his wife? Probably. Would Seinfeld still be funny if he said masturbate instead of Master of Your Domain? Probably.
The fallout from seeing Janet Jackson's saggy tit on TV continues to this day. It's kind of funny. It's legal in the State of Ohio for a woman to walk around topless in public. Really. It is. (Though not enough women outside of CommFest actually take advantage of this one sensible part of Ohio's civil code...) But if you have a breast on TV...my stars! The FCC and the morality squad are coming to get you!
Fuck. That.
Really.

Let's talk for a moment about foul language, since I use a lot of it.
What's wrong with the word fuck?
To take the words of George Carlin and push them just a wee bit further...Let everyone who is offended by the word fuck never fuck again. They shouldn't be breeding. They contribute nothing but dillution and warm yellow water to the gene pool.
The problem is...they DO breed. More than those of us with brains. There's something wrong with that. Sure, we use condoms, the pill, etc. But...shouldn't people with brains actually take over this whole breeding thing? Shouldn't we take the proverbial bull by his horns and get down?
What's wrong with the word fuck? Or ass? Or assfuck? At what point does a word become obscene? And who the fuck gets to make that distinction?
Who let Polly Prissy Pants from Squirrel Dick Holler, Alabama make the decision over which word is too naughty to say in public? Who made her Queen of the World, anyway?
Why can't we outlaw all Right Wing language as obscene? Because, quite frankly, they offend the shit out of me every single time they open their fucking moralistic gaping cunt mouths.
Things like this bother me. I don't know why I let them. I'm an imperfect being. This I know. And I'll never achieve true enlightenment when I let some subhuman Right Wing Christian fuckstains shit in my Cheerios. But I'm trying.

1 comment:

Byron said...

I'm posting this on my site RIGHT NOW because it's that goddamn good!!!!!