Spongebob Squarepants Review!

Who has a new movie in theaters this week?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
Who made me laugh so much my adult diapers leaked?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
Who made Alec Baldwin seem cool for an hour?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!
Who has retard starfishes and a squid in a shower?
Sponge Bob Square Pants!

Ready?
Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Bob Square Pants,
Sponge Booob Square Paaants!

Honestly, it's a bonanza for kids this month. Between The Incredibles and this...kids haven't had it this good in ages. Then again, both of these films have something to offer to adults (though Spongebob has the edge on the stoner appeal, man is this one fucked up movie).
I really can't even go into specifics, because the whole thing is utterly demented. right to the core of its innocent, ice-cream buzzed heart. Everything about it is utterly messed in the head and utterly, totally wrong. The songs are giddily infectious. Plankton getting stepped on...utterly wrong (they linger on every moment of his agony, not for sympathy value, but because, as the Three Stooges taught us, pain is funny). Patrick Star's butt? You know what? Who the fuck wants to see a cartoon starfish's ass? COME ON, PEOPLE! That's just...wrong!
Need another reason to see it? Two words.
David Hasselhoff.
Trust me, he alone is worth the price of admission.
Go see it. Take kids. Or get a buzz on. Your choice.