Saturday, October 27, 2007

Conan vs The Topless Women

via Kotaku and

So, there's gonna be a Conan game for the XBox 360 and the PS3. THQ's making it.
The design looks fantastic. It looks almost like a Frazetta painting brought to life. If there's a heaven, Robert E Howard wholeheartedly approves. Conan is thick and sinewy, in his fighting prime. And...there's bare bosoms in it.
Yes, breasts in a video game. Call the moral police.
Pulp entertainment has long had a tradition of womenfolk in next-to (or less than next-to) nothing and the ultra-capable hero who has to save them. Sure, in modern comics, the women stand shoulder to shoulder with the men, but is Wonder Woman a realistic model of a female warrior? I think not. With the low body fat that a highly-trained soldier such as herself would attain, something tells me that she'd be a little less top-heavy. The objectification of the female form hasn't quite evolved over the ages. Men like their breasts. So, the comic book female tends to look more like a pole dancer than a body builder.
Back in the days of Robert E Howard's pulp stories, though, the womenfolk were there almost as ornaments. They were objects to be won. So, in the game, you run around rescuing topless women. Since many of them were pleasure women or dancers, the pole dancer model applies in spades.
The fundies and the parents groups can't have their children looking at breasts. The kids might start getting ideas (the same ideas they get anyway, seeing as they're hormonal little monsters). So, rest assured, there will be protests. And stories on FOXNews. Somewhere, a woman will break out in tears because her son might some day see a naked breast. Oh, the horror...
While I'm sure there WILL be outrage over this (the game IS rated M, though), the born agains and bible thumpers are missing the point.
If you have to buy a sixty-dollar video game to see a pair of unleashed mammaries, you need to get your keister down to the local strip club and at least see them in person, folks.
That's my two cents worth, at least.

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