The Magnificent 5 (Queeny’s Tops for 2003)

1. Lord of the Rings : Return of the King
Hands down, ROTK is numero UNO. This movie did it for me. It was emotionally charged. I absolutely adore Peter Jackson for realizing this film in a way I never imagined. What a milestone in filmmaking. RETURN OF THE KING is the mother of all epics.

2. Kill Bill vol. 1
I love arterial fountains and Go Go Yubari. I loved every second of this movie. When I watch it, my jaw is glued to the floor. Watching this movie is like having tunnel vision for 2 hours. I am so focused on The Bride’s ultimate goal, to kill Bill, nothing else exists for me. I cannot gush enough about this film, but I will stop.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me. GAHHHH! I will not complain about this movie, in anyway. It was a great action packed adventure. What a blast to watch Johnny Depp in all his brilliance. Johnny Depp is my favorite flavor this year, and him being Captain Jack Sparrow made this movie eleventy trillion times more exciting for me. What a grand adventure.

4. Once Upon A Time in Mexico
When I saw OUATIM, I wouldn’t shut up about it, I’m sure I was annoying. Until I saw Kill Bill and ROTK, this was my movie of the year. It is a splendid movie, regardless of what you blubber butts who hate it think. I personally believe this movie has tons of energy. It was damn funny in my opinion. So there.

5. Peter Pan
I saw this film yesterday. It was a whimsical and beautiful. I love the story of Peter Pan. I’m so glad that this movie wasn’t a Hook-ish movie. I’m glad that Peter Pan was a teenaged boy, not some 20 year old woman boy. If only James Hook had a Wendy of his own, Jason I. made me feel for Hook, even though he was being a false, tricksy lying Hook. My imagination went crazy when I saw Never Never Land, so perfect, just like this movie.

The movie Queeny was most disappointed by in 2003:

All I WantWhy, why, why?! That’s all ask. This movie seemed good in theory, but when I finally saw it, I was so sad. I guess the lesson here is not to build up a movie, just because the actor starring made a blockbuster hit. I just hope Elijah doesn’t go the way of the extinct dodo bird (Scientific name : Markinious Hamilsapian)

A movie that Queeny should’ve seen in 2003, and WILL see in 2004:

Tetsuo the Iron ManLooks stunning. I will watch this movie. Apparently, it's not that great, but I am still going to watch it..

The movies Queeny is most excited for in 2004
1. Kill Bill Vol. 2 - For obvious reasons (see my top 5)
2. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - I felt deprived this year..
3. Troy - here’s my semi shallow side, FOR THE EYE CANDY..who’s with me?!
4. Hellboy – Just because I’m finally ready for a good Selma Blair movie.
5. Spider-Man 2 – The teaser looks nice, tre cool.

So there you have it. These are MY top 5 movies. I noticed that they are very "mainstream" but that's because I live in a hole in the midwest and we apparently aren't as important and I don't get the chance to see some movies that I hear are great until they come to video...when I am president I am going to make a bill that says the midwest will get movies when everywhere else gets them...we are the freakoids of the movie industry..no one loves us, we are like pieces of grass, when it rains, we are the last to know, and when a film comes to theatres, we are the last to get it, or we don't get it at all..just take a shit on us, we don't mind, WE are the midwest...

Adam's Top 5 Movies of 2003

You know, I haven't listened to enough music or watched enough TV to truly make good choices for top picks of the year in either of those fields. Shocking, but true.
I have seen quite a few movies, though, and I think I might be able to throw together a list of my favorites of the year, in ascending order:

5) Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
To be totally honest...I had been really excited about seeing this movie. Then the trailer came out. I suddenly wasn't that interested any more. Then, the studio moved the film to the fall. The anticipation waned. As the movie approached again, I suddenly remembered that it was a Peter Weir movie and I had nothing to worry about. Boy, was I glad I saw this movie on the big screen, the way it was meant to be seen. Weir has crafted a movie with adventure, heart and
unbelievable action. Russel Crowe's been a favorite of mine since Romper Stomper. Here, he shows every bit of confidence and bravado that an old-time Hollywood Star would display. Paul Bettany, as usual, is just fantastic. And Max Pirkis, should he desire to continue acting...has a FUTURE. The chops that that kid shows are scary. He's a talent, and I hope he develops properly into a great actor.

4) Kill Bill Volume 1
I'm a Tarantino whore. I admit it. QT makes movies for people like me...movie fans, pop-culture addicts. The disaffected children of the TV Generation. In short...me. I haven't seen a Tarantino movie that I haven't adored, and I'm pretty sure he's gonna keep making films that I absolutely postively MUST see (and...then, own in my collection).
I've never been a huge Uma Thurman fan (sorry, Penn Jillette). I am now. Her Bride may well become one of the great cinematic characters. She might become as iconic as Toshiro Mifune, Clint Eastwood and Chow Yun-Fat.
Kill Bill was made with me in particular. I'm convinced of it. It combines all of my favorite cinematic conventions from chop socky, samurai films, Westerns, revenge films, etc...and makes it all make perfect, glorious, rock-video sense. Stylish, smart, and rock fuckin' hard. Fuckin' great. Can't wait for part two.

3) House of Sand and Fog
Considering that this movie is barely out, I'm rather astonished to place it this high on the list. But, the more I go over the movie in my mind, the more I'm impressed with the little details in it, and the less I worry about the logical faults. People make mistakes. People misjudge. And the people in this movie make every single mistake they could possibly make during the span of the story. Sure, the movie's sold on Jennifer Connelly. But, Ben Kingsley broke my goddamn heart. He puts in the finest performance in his storied career.

 

2) [tie] Lord of the Rings: Return of the King/Bubba Ho-Tep
Considering that Peter Jackson started off the quirky guy that made wonderfully odd gems like Dead Alive, Bad Taste and Meet the Feebles...you'd never really guess that the man was capable of making films as epic, confident and masterful as the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Well, he saved the best for last. Return of the King juggles a massive cast deftly, propels viewers through a massive story with little breathing room and makes you CARE about each of the characters. It didn't hurt that every single actor involved put in a career-making performance. There is no moment in the movie that doesn't ring absolutely true. To say I'm excited about Jackson's next project, a big budget remake of the classic King Kong, would be an
understatement. But, I was giddy about the project years ago, when PJ was first attached to it.
Bubba Ho-Tep has no right to be as good as it ended up being. Based on a story by cult writer Joe R Lansdale and directed by cult filmmaker Don Coscarelli (Phantasm), Bubba Ho-Tep is quite possibly the weirdest concept to come down the pike in a dog's age: an elderly Elvis and an infirmed, dyed-black JFK fight a 3000 year-old Egyptian mummy who's sucking the souls out of retirees through their asses. Thing is...it's got more pathos and heart than most 10 movies out there. Lansdale wrote the story because he couldn't envision a world where the King died on the crapper. He ended up creating a timeless tale of friendship, bravery and the human spirit. It doesn't hurt that fanboy fave Bruce Campbell is in the movie, but he disappears into his Elvis makeup so completely, you never once question that you're not watching Presley himself. And Ossie Davis...well, he's always been one of the best actors on the planet, and it's wonderful to see a man in the sunset of his career shine brighter than he did in youth.

1) Lost in Translation
This movie made me remember all the best parts of falling in love. It's sweet and wonderful...and REAL. Anyone who's ever been trapped away from home can empathize with the main characters' plights.
I've not been to Japan, and you see precious little of it in the movie, but I feel like I've visited. I've felt the weariness of Bill Murray's character. I've felt the isolation of Scarlett Johansen's character. And I've fallen in love on the road, knowing that I'd be parted in hours or days from my paramour.
Yes, I know it's supposed to be about Sofia Coppola and her husband, director Spike Jonze. If that's the case, then Coppola turned her broken heart into art. Everyone truly wants to be found, and I'm glad I saw this movie.
It's a special movie, and it brought a smile to my face that was hard to hide. Lovely, wonderful and joyous.

I stayed overnight in the House of Sand and Fog, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!

Mistakes were made.
There are no simple answers in House of Sand and Fog. Every one of the characters is working from the best intentions. Each is horribly flawed. Every single decision they make is the wrong one.
The movie isn't a Greek tragedy. It's not that cut and dried. It's just a very human movie. Even when the actions of the characters defy logic, it's not because the plot just demands it. It's a mistake, a miscalculation on the character's part. The mistakes keep piling up and things just get really bad really fast.
Kathy Nicolo (Jennifer Connelly) is a recovering alcoholic. Her husband just left her. And the county comes and takes her house because of a $500 business tax she didn't even owe.
Colonel Behrani (Ben Kingsley) is a Persian immigrant with a wife who spends too much money and more menial jobs than you can count on the fingers of one hand. He buys Kathy's house at auction to improve his family's life.
As Billy, the bartender at the Arena Grand said, "It's Oscar season, so you know it ends badly." Oh, how right he is. You enter this movie with your eyes wide open. You know something tragic will happen. You're just not ready for how messy it gets.
I've not read the novel by Andre Dubus III. I don't know that I'd care to after the emotional battering I received at the hands of this movie. For the work of a first time director (Vadim Perelman), House of Sand and Fog shows remarkable confidence in its material and a deft hand in construction, aside from one mistake (we'll get to that later). Roger Deakins' cinematography is remarkable, as usual (he's the guy that does the Coen Brothers' movies).
Jennifer Connelly, is (of course) incredible. Nice to look at, too...but the woman has more talent than the entire von Trapp family. I've seen one female performance all year that could equal hers, and it was in a supporting role. Soooo, she might be doing another walk down the aisle in the Kodak Theater this year.
Ben Kingsley is a revelation. He's always an actor to watch, even when the material is sub par...but this time he gets to hit a massive Babe Ruth homer out of the park. He's the emotional center of the movie, and he shines.
And Ron Eldard...who isn't even in the damn trailers, is very good. He's been around, but never quite had his chance to show off his skillz. Hell, they even cut him out of Phone Booth (he was the original sniper). His deputy is lost in his life and sees Kathy as his way out. Eldard plays the inner conflict well...and when he realizes the mistakes he's made, he collapses in on himself. It's a small role, but a key one. Shohreh Aghdashloo and Jonathan Ahdout are both excellent as Behrani's wife and son.
SPOILER (READ AT YOUR OWN RISK)
My one complaint with the entire movie is starting the movie off with the very end moment, rather than let the film unfold from the beginning. Too many movies uses the conceit of making the entire fucking movie a flashback. Can't we start from the damn start? It's a minor bitch, but why give away the goddamn ending at the beginning of the movie?
END SPOILER
It's not a perfect film, but it's a pretty damn good one. Just make sure you take plenty of tissues.

Greetings from the Swamp

This is my first attempt at posting on a Blog so bear with me if I make any errors.

As mentioned by adam earlier a few of our fellow chatters on Mirc, blue and Ava Bean ,came up with the idea of exchanging online Christmas gifts between friends. I had been unable to do it on time because I was busy shopping and dealing with family. Now that Christmas is over and everything has settled down I finally had time to make a few belated fantasy purchases for some of my online friends. I hope they enjoy the gifts as much as I enjoyed finding and choosing them. So in no special order here is my Christmas gifts.

AvaElfAble
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!

Adam
OPEN THIS!

blue
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!

JennApple
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!

Emeraldluxury
OPEN THIS!

Lisa
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!

Croc
OPEN THIS!
OPEN THIS!

BluLighter
OPEN THIS!

Jamie
OPEN THIS!

wixlet and Neil
OPEN THIS!

Desperately Seeking a Sugar-Mama!

Soooooooooo......just wanted all'y'all to know that I'm not dead. I'm not rotting in some coffin six feet under. I'm not grieved by anyone.

I'm just here.

And I'll be around years to come...

So, I just thought I'd post a little something for all my buddies and budettes out there!

Folks, Norway f*****g rules! Where else can you get lots and lots of snow, slippery roads, windy weather, people that speak funny and the second-most expensive prices in the world....wait a minute......I'm lying....Norway sux!

I need to get to the US......soon......very soon...if anyone wanna help me accomplish that, I'd be happy to provide you with my account number for you to transfer $50.000 to.

Blankman out!

Blankman

Cold Mountain review

It's Oscar season, and all the studios are pushing out their award contenders. Thus, Miramax offers us Anthony Minghella's Cold Mountain, based on a novel by Charles Frazier.
I've never read the novel. I'm no fan of Minghella's. In fact, I think that his previous films suffered because of his involvement. However, I'll say no such thing about Cold Mountain. It's an excellent film, and Minghella seems to have truly hit his stride in bringing the printed word to screen.
The story of a Southern laborer who goes off to war, more or less because it's expected of him. Inman (Jude Law) is a man of few words. He's tired of war and fighting and death, and he just wants to get home to the woman he loves.
It's also the story of Ada Monroe (Nicole Kidman), the Southern belle Inman fell for, who must learn to fend for herself when her fragile world falls apart around her. The war takes the men from her town, tuberculosis takes her father from her, and she is left alone and helpless with no skills to survive on. Ada can't even cook for herself, and ekes out a lonely existence hiding from her charitable neighbors and avoiding the attentions of the local Home Guard captain, Teague (Ray Winstone), who covets Ada's farm and takes special pleasure in rooting out deserters. Eventually, Ada is approached by Ruby Thewes (Renee Zellweger), an uneducated, crude woman with big plans for the farm. Together, they manage the land and even out each others' weak points...Ada's naivete and lack of real world skills and Ruby's cold heart and lack of culture.
Inman sees all his friends cut down by the Civil War, is wounded in battle, and escapes from a military hospital to begin a lonely trek home. The road is long and hard -- and filled with peril, too, as the Home Guard patrol the road and rivers.
Funny thing is, I've told you what happens in the story, but not what it's really about. Cold Mountain is about the shorthand poetry that exists between two lovers...a thousand fleeting moments that they remember when they're parted. Minghella's predeliction for voiceovers and flashbacks really serves the movie well, as Ada's letters and words carry Inman's failing spirit home. The two barely know each other, but it's those moments that hold them together.
The writing and performances in Cold Mountain are excellent, but it's the photography where Minghella finally makes some advances. No more heavy filters, no more over-reliance on warm lighting. John Seale's cinematography captures both the beauty and the grime of the south with equal grace. Gorgeous looking film.
The movie is filled with great bit parts and cameos, including Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a fallen preacher; Melora Walters and Giovanni Ribisi as a couple of backwoods rednecks; Natalie Portman as a young, widowed mother; and Brendan Gleeson, Jack White and Ethan Suplee as a band of deserters turned musicians who take up residence near Ava's farm. Yes, that's Jack White from the White Stripes, and he's just fine as an actor (though he really doesn't have much to do).
Yes, I know the holiday season is jam-packed with movies. But, check out Cold Mountain. I think you'll really like it.

More Virtual Giftus!

For Sandy

UNWRAP THIS! UNWRAP THIS!

For Vegas, Saffy, Cassidy and Lily

Vegas UNWRAP THIS!
Saffy UNWRAP THIS! UNWRAP THIS! UNWRAP THIS!
Cassidy UNWRAP THIS!
Lily UNWRAP THIS!

For Smudje

UNWRAP THIS! UNWRAP THIS!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Muchos gracias for the smorgasbord of virtual giftuses from Adam. I like the virtual gift concept. Even if you don't actually get the physical gift, you still get the warm feeling that someone is thinking about you.

::cue misty-eye causing music::

Hope everyone has a safe and rocking holiday. And remember . . . don't nog and drive.

What will you get in your stocking this Christmas? by spiritluv
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Sticking out the top:	Instructions to go to the bedroom.
Somewhere in the middle:	Instructions to strip naked.
Resting in the heel:	Perfume
Shoved into the toe:	Hershey Kisses.
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Thanks to JennJenn.